it's like her boobs came off with her bra
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
