She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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