i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
