one might say we're banned from that church
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize