Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize