dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
