you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
