Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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