I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
