Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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