She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
