were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
