The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
