I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
