I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
