Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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