She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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