I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize