Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just pynch a tree in the face
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
