Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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