Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
