hotties wanna shake it
I look better un-naked...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.