my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
23 People Confess The Lamest Things They’ve Ever Done To Fit In
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
These 27 Texts Prove Pets Make Better BFFs Than Humans
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.