Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dating After Heartbreak
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?