When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.