S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe