i don't like sucking hair
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
