My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
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She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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