It's Friday. Sex?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
