i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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