i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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