You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
