Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
