i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
