he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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