YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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