Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
