Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I look better un-naked...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
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