People in love make me want to vomit
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
