drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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