I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
