Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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