i jhust puked up my retainher.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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