his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
