So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize