We're like a lot better than the average bears
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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