Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize