I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
