You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Randomize
