I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize