Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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