I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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