Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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