there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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