I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
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I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
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I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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