I am midnight drunk by noon
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize