Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
