every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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