So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
