i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
