i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
