what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
