you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
