If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
