She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
