two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
