Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
