i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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