Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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